An Amazing Experience

About two days ago I went through the Bountiful Temple for the first time to recieve my endowments and let me just say it was amazing. I was looking forward to going through for a while now and Im just so happy I had the opportunity to at this time. Out temple here in Bountiful is quite beautiful and even more amazing on the inside. I love the environment and the people serving there are just wonderful. Please if you havent gone for any reason, too busy, dont feel like, havent thought about it. Think about it. Its wonderful and the more you go the better off you'll be and the happier. I promise. I plan on going once a week till my mission because I want to constantly remind myself of the promises I made and to keep the spirit with me always. Anyways I just want to talk about my experiences :) OH! and thank you to everyone who joined me. It was that much better with your support there so thank you :) I cant wait to go to many more Temples and I encourage all of you to go out your time just a few hours and go through. For any reason. Its Amazing and Beautiful and I loved It!

You Cant Win An Argument

Have you been in this scenario? Just to throw an argument in, a man and a friend are somewhere and he is telling someone of a great story which hinged on a certain quote. "There's a divinty that shapes our ends, rough-hew them how we will." By the way this is an example from a very inspiring book named: "How To Win Friends And Influence People" Which has many valuable concepts and examples of every kind pertaining to human relations and tendensies. Back to the example, he said that came from the Bible. The other man listening to this knew in his mind that this statement was wrong. He knew it positively without the slightest doubt. And to get a feeling of importance and display his superiority, he appointed himself as an unwelcome committee of one to correct him. Of coarse he stuck to his guns. "What? From Shakespear? Impossible! Absurd! That quotation was from the Bible" and he knew it. Sitting next to them is a gentleman, Frank, who had devoted his life to Shakespear. So the storyteller and he agree to ask him. He kicks the man opposing under the table and says "that gentleman is right. It is from the Bible." On the way home that night, He said "Frank, You knew that quotation was from Shakespear." "Yes, of coarse" he replied, "Hamlet... blah blah But we were guests at a that mans house, my friend. Why prove him wrong? Is it going to make him like you? Why not let him save his face? He did not ask for your opinion. He didnt want it. Why Argue with him?" That man taught him a valuable lesson that night. Not only did he make the storyteller uncomfortable, he put him in an embarrassing situation. How much better it have been if he didnt become argumentative. Through my reading and studying I have found that there is one way to get the best out of an arguement and that is to just avoid it. Avoid it as if it were a Rattlesnake or an Earthquake. 9 times out of 10, an argument ends with each of the contestants more firmly convinced that they are abosolutly right. YOU CANT WIN AN ARGUMENT. You cant win because if you lose it, you lose it. If you win it, you lose it. Why? Suppose you triumph over the other man and shoot his arguement full of holes, then what? You will feel fine. But what about him? You've made him feel inferior. You hurt his pride. He resents your triumph. "A man convinced against his will, is of the same opinion still." Another quick example is of a car salesman who when a customer would talk about another companies vehicals, he would start to argue against it and put him down and tell him he was wrong. A good friend named Dale Carnegie noticed this and instead of teaching him how to talk, he trained him to refrain from talking and to avoid verbal fights. He became a star salesman. How did he do that? In his words he said that, "Now if I were to walk into a buyers office and they said a truck was no good, I wouldnt take it even if you gave it to me, Im going to take the whose-it car. that one is good." "I would say that if you chose that car you would never make a mistake. That one is made by a great company with great people." He was speechless. No room for arguement If he said it was a good car, I say it is. He has to stop when Im agreeing with him. We then get off subject and start to talk about the good points of the truck." There was a time where a comment like that would get me seeing colors. I would start arguing against the whose-it. The more I argued, the more they argued and the more they sell themselves on another companies product. As I look back I wonder how I was ever to make a sale. I lost years of my life scraping and arguing. Now I keep my mouth shut. It pays." A wise old Ben Franklin used to say: "If you argue and rankle and contradict, you may achieve a victory sometimes; but it will be an empty victory because you will never get your opponent's good will. So figure it out for yourself. Which would you rather have, an academic, theatrical victory or a person's good will? you can seldom have both." You may be right, dead right, as you speed along in your argument; but as far as changing another's mind is concerned, you will probably be just as futile as if you were wrong. Buddha said: "Hatred is never ended by hatred but by love," and a misunderstanding is never ended by an argument but by tact, diplomacy, conciliation and a sympathetic desire to see the other person's viewpoint. In an article in "Bits and Pieces," some suggestions are made on how to keep a disagreement from becoming an argument: Welcome the disagreement. If there is some point you haven't thought about, be thankful if it is brought to your attention. Perhaps this disapreement is your opportunity to be corrected before you make a serious mistake. Distrust your first instinctive impression. Our first natural reaction in an argument is to be defensive. Be careful. Keep calm and watch out for your first reaction. It may be you at your worst, not your best. Control your temper. Remember, you can measure the size of a person by what makes him or her angry. Listen First. Give them a chance to talk. Let them finish. Do not resist, defend or debate. This only raises barriers. Try to build bridges of understanding. Dont build higher bridges of misunderstanding. Look for areas of agreement. Once you've heard them, dwell of the things of which you agree. Be honest. Look for areas where you can admit your errors and say so. Apologize. It will help disarm your apponents and reduce defensiveness. Promise to think over your apponents' ideas and study them carefully. and mean it. They may be right. It is alot easier at this stage to agree and think about their points than to move rapidly ahead and find yourself in position where they can say: "We tried to tell you, but you wouldn't listen." Thank them sincerely for their interest. Anyone who takes the time to disagree with you is interested in the same things you are. Think of them as people who really want to help you, and you may turn your opponents into friends. Could my opponents be right? Partly right? Is there truth in their position or argument? Will my reaction relieve the problem or just any frustration? Will my reaction drive my opponents further away or draw them closer to me? Will I win or lose? What price will I have to pay if I win? If I am quiet about it, will the disagreement blow over? Is this difficult situation an opportunity for me? A wise man once said, "My wife and I made a pact a long time ago. When one yells, the other should listen- Because when two people yell, there is no communication, just noise and bad vibrations." The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it